Finding a needle in a dating haystack

Whether you have been navigating the dating scene for awhile or are a newcomer, finding your needle in a haystack can be pretty challenging. Online dating continues to be an easy way to meet potential mates; in a matter of minutes you can swipe right, make a match and meet for coffee an hour later. However, the ease of the process does not guarantee the quality of the pool of matches. You can also be your worst enemy. While you might know what you are looking for, that could also be the same reason you have not found Mr. or Mrs. Right; you may be pursuing the wrong type of person. There are millions of people out there looking for a date, but how can you guarantee that you are matching with your potential soul mate?

Online dating can be difficult as people are often not completely honest when completing profiles or in worst case scenarios set up profiles to “catfish” .How can you improve your chances of success with potential mates? Using the services of a local matchmaker can guarantee a higher success rate because there are more factors involved than dating on a website or app. Matchmakers also vet individuals involved in their services, so you can be guaranteed that your match will be the person he or she says they are and aligned based on shared values.

Dating websites and apps create matches based on material from your profile. Going beyond the surface, a local matchmaker can help you understand your strengths and the challenges that you need to work on. It’s easy to fill out a profile on a dating website, but if you are continuing to make the same mistakes in relationships or attracting the same people, your relationships will never flourish. An third party view of your dating life can be insightful and outsourcing your dating life to a professional matchmaker can lead to a more successful relationship . Do you ever self-reflect on previous relationships and why they went wrong in a positive way? A professional matchmaker delves into these conversations to see how you can improve upon yourself. It’s not about looking at your flaws but more about where you can grow in a relationship that you may not have been open to in the past.

One of the many pitfalls online daters experience is creating a list that a potential mate will be measured against. But where does the list come from? Are you sure about the qualities you want in a mate and how did you determine those qualities? A local matchmaker can help you establish a clear set of core values rather than just a list of qualities you want in a mate. Professional matchmakers can also guarantee that you are not setting yourself up to limit the pool to the point where there are no candidates. Having a pool of select candidates that have been personally vetted, a matchmaker can make sure they are pairing you with a person that has the core values you are looking for or at least the ones you are not willing to change.

Dating websites may have a system of matching individuals based on preferences, likes and dislikes, but not everyone knows what they are really seeking. After all, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce. A matchmaker can help you understand your deal breakers versus the traits to which you might be open. Sometimes a deeper human interaction and discussion is needed to find out what you truly want in a relationship, not just in a person. They can help you move past the basic deal breakers like smoking or desire to have kids. These are important factors, but a matchmaker can help navigate the dating landscape.

Online dating gives daters immediate gratification (although some estimates indicate it can take 11 hours of swiping time to find connect with a “dateable” option), which doesn’t always continue on to the date. Don’t always rely on an immediate connection on a first date. “Chemistry” is a fluid thing and can be developed over time. Meeting someone and not having immediate sparks and fireworks can be scary or disappointing, but it’s important to move past the initial first date jitters. Find 3 positive characteristics to say about your date. If you can’t think of anything right away, ask questions to help reveal more about them. A benefit to having a professional matchmaker is the guidance offered throughout the entire process. A dating website or app leaves all the work to you after they give you a match. Your personal matchmaker can help prepare you for the first date and what to expect and often offer additional services such as date/relationship coaching and personal style/wardrobe coaching. They can offer tips for first dates, such as the importance of focusing on the positive.

With the popularity of online dating increasing, people look to local matchmakers as a last option. You may not believe the extra cost of hiring a matchmaker is worth it, but there are many benefits you are receiving for the price. Be open to the possibilities a matchmaker can create for you. Some matchmakers offer a no cost consultation to help you become familiar with the process. There is usually a reason people are still single. You may not really know what you are looking for and a matchmaker can help you work through your past to create a better future for dating possibilities. You might even find your needle in a haystack.

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