- It Takes 2 Featured on DatingAdvice.com
DatingAdvice.com, one of the premier online resources for all things dating-related, recently featured It Takes 2 in a column about our longstanding introduction service. You can read the full article here.
- Looking for Love…AGAIN?
The desire for companionship, the need to share your love with another, does not diminish with age, nor does it suddenly evaporate once the other mate is gone. Each year, worldwide, countless millions are faced with the choice — remain alone, or start looking for love… again.
Each individual’s story is different, but there are some similarities. Each individual deals with this loss in his or her own way, but many face the same challenges, the same concerns, the same fears. This is the story of Pete and Daisy.
After more than half a century of marriage, Pete* was alone … a widower, in his mid-seventies. “I was very lonely,” he says. “I didn’t like living by myself.
Daisy*, some ten years younger, was facing the same loneliness, when her husband of 32 years passed away. She said, as did Pete and countless others who are forced to cope with the loss of a spouse, whether through death or divorce, “I knew I didn’t want to be alone.”
About a year after his wife’s death in 1999, Pete began checking out the personal column in the newspaper. “I dated a few women, but nothing really worked out,” Pete says of his experiences trying to find a match through the “personals.”
“He had lots of women,” Daisy laughs, as she sits next to Pete, patting his arm tenderly. Pete smiles.
After several months of trying unsuccessfully to find love on his own, Pete decided to try a matchmaking service. (Pete and Daisy both used the services of Innsbrook based It Takes 2. See accompanying story.)
Asked if he had any concerns about going to a professional matchmaker, Pete shakes his head, “No, not at all. I was just glad to learn that there was such a service.” Pete recalls a feeling of “hope … excitement,” following his initial consultation with Carrie Daichman, the founder of It Takes 2.
He does acknowledge that he did have some concern about his age, feeling that perhaps, at age 77, he might not be able to find someone. “Carrie arranged for me to meet a woman quite a bit younger than me,” Pete says. “She said the woman knew my age and wasn’t bothered by that.”
So how did that work out? “She seemed fine with it,” Pete says, “until I reminded her how old I’d be, when she reached a certain age.” Pete dated a couple of other women; one for as long as six months, whom he met through It Takes 2, but hadn’t really found the “match” he was seeking.
Daisy, on the other hand, was only introduced to one possible match through the service … Pete. About a year after her husband’s death, she, too, had decided to re-enter the dating scene. “I tried the personal column myself,” she says. Like Pete, Daisy had seen an ad for It Takes 2 and decided to try it out.
Daisy recalls her first visit. “I went after work, about seven,” she says. “The office was so neat. It looked like it had just been set up … no paper on the desks.” She even looked in the trash cans to try and find evidence that this “was a real business.” She says, “I quizzed Carrie as to how long she had been in business, trying to find out if this was some sort of a hoax.” Despite her initial concerns, Daisy says, “It turned out to be a nice experience.”
About a week after providing the matchmaking service with a comprehensive profile (“Carrie sure has you answer a lot of questions,” Daisy laughs.), Daisy received a note from Carrie, telling her about Pete. The note contained his name and phone number. At about the same time, Pete was receiving a similar note. Pete made the call. (“I wish we had a tape of that call,” Daisy interjects.) “I introduced myself, we talked for a few minutes and I asked her if she’d like to go out for dinner,” Pete says. The two arranged to meet at Joe’s Inn in Innsbrook. (Note: When Fred Green, the owner of Joe’s Inn heard about this upcoming story, he arranged to send Pete and Daisy a gift certificate for a complimentary meal at the restaurant.)
“When I pulled into the parking lot,” Daisy recalls, “I saw Pete standing in the lot. He looked so dapper in his suit and cap.” Daisy says that when she first spotted Pete, he was standing next to a big BMW. “I remember thinking I’ve hit the jackpot.”
Both have fond memories of that first date. “I was very favorably impressed,” Daisy recalls.
Pete was similarly impressed, but says he did worry that perhaps he was too old for Daisy. “I was wondering if this could succeed,” he says.
When Daisy pulled out of the parking lot after saying goodbye to Pete, she says she kept an eye on the rearview mirror to see which car Pete got in. “It was a station wagon,” she says. She turns to Pete. “I think you stood by the BMW on purpose,” she says.
Pete laughs. “I didn’t even notice the BMW.”
A few days after the date, Pete spoke with Carrie. “I suppose she (Daisy) told you I was too old,” Pete remembers saying.
“No, not at all,” Carrie replied, encouraging Pete to call Daisy again.
Pete quickly decided to do just that. Was Daisy sitting by the phone waiting for the call? “Not really,” she says. “I was so busy with my work.” Daisy was continuing to operate a real estate business she and her husband had started.
Daisy does say she was happy to hear from Pete and agreed to a second date. From that point on, the two began to date regularly. “After about four dates, I began to think this could be something permanent,” Daisy says.
During an Easter dinner last year, Pete and Daisy told the “kids” (Pete has a grown son and daughter, Daisy has two grown sons) that they were planning a trip to Las Vegas … to get married. How did their children react? “Everybody likes one another,” Daisy says. “The families all get along well.”
In the spring of 2002, Pete and Daisy were married in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas. What is it like to start over again? Pete answers, “Like the Frank Sinatra song ‘love is lovelier the second time around.'”
Daisy says, “The first time, you’re so busy starting a business, raising the kids. This time it’s like being on Easy Street.” Although Pete and Daisy had happy first marriages, both agree that the second marriage can actually be less stressful.
Not everyone will be as successful as Pete and Daisy, but their story may provide encouragement. One can start over. To look at Pete and Daisy, sitting closely to one another on the couch in their Northside home, one might think this couple has been together for a lifetime. To see the way they tenderly smile at one another, the gentle way Daisy reaches over and takes Pete’s hand, you’d probably never guess they’re newlyweds. There’s a good reason for that. “Pete’s my best friend,” Daisy says. “I feel like I’ve known him forever.” Pete and Daisy found each other. Pete and Daisy found love … again.
You’re thirty-five (or older) and, suddenly, you’re alone. Whether through divorce or the death of your spouse, you’re about to re-enter the dating scene and you’re scared.
“The dating world has definitely changed in the last few years,” says Carrie Daichman, founder of It Takes 2, the Innsbrook-based professional matchmaking service that successfully brought together “Pete” and “Daisy” (see our feature story). Internet dating horror stories have many apprehensive. Personal columns found in newspapers and tabloids allow for too much anonymity prior to the first meeting.
Additionally, by the age of thirty-five, many returnees to the dating scene are now so caught up in their careers that they don’t have the time to look for the compatible match. Many companies still discourage co-worker dating. Relying on friends to match you up is not generally successful.
During a three year stint operating a nightclub in Norfolk, Daichman, who started It Takes 2 in 1998, and who has been a professional matchmaker for more than ten years, observed the frustration felt by many seeking to find the right match. “I saw people using the same lines night in and night out,” she says. “A nightclub is not the environment most conducive to meeting someone.”
It Takes 2 provides a much more suitable environment. “Women view it as safer,” Daichman says. And men? She says men find the service an excellent way to meet sincere ladies who aren’t into playing head games.
“I personally meet with and interview each applicant,” Daichman says. The idea is to ensure that prospective matches are emotionally and financially compatible, that their goals are similar. “I do a personal profile to help identify (the client’s) long term goals … are they looking for a casual relationship, a committed relationship, or marriage.”
“Single persons who work forty hours a week, generally do all their tasks for themselves,” Daichman states. “They have a hard time finding the time or energy to socialize.” The screening saves considerable time one might spend, only to discover that he or she is not compatible with a potential date.
I asked Daichman if she gets clients who just want to meet a lot of different women (or men) to date. “My clients are very serious about establishing a quality relationship, they are not like that.”
After Daichman finds a possible match, she mails each individual the name and telephone number of the other, along with a brief profile. Following the first date, she gets feedback from her clients: “What did they like? What didn’t they like?”
Carrie Daichman acknowledges that even with the personal effort that goes into each prospective matching, there still has to be that “certain something.” She says, “I wish I could define it … it’s magic … an indefinable magic between two people.”
With an 80% success rate (of her clients matches resulting in marriage, or a committed relationship), it would appear that Carrie Daichman has learned how to capture the magic. Daichman offers a free consultation for anyone looking for a little of the magic for themselves, and encourages those re-entering the dating scene to visit the company’s website, www.ittakes2online.com, or phone 804.967.9911.
Carrie Daichman is committed to her clients, poring over each profile, personally hand-picking the prospective matches. It’s not just a job. Carrie Daichman sums it up best: “It’s a labor of love.”
- A New Year – A New Relationship
‘Tis the season for reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the new. For resolutions to change our lives for the better… and perhaps to finally find that special someone who adds the spark and spice that’s been missing.
If that sounds like you, you’re not alone.”I find that many singles make this their New Year’s resolution,” observed Carrie Daichman, the empathetic, friendly face of It Takes 2, which caters to busy professionals of all ages in central Virginia. And it’s been given the Best of Richmond Award in the Dating Services category for the past two years by the U.S. Commerce Association. “People are ready to seek out the right person.
But that’s easier said than done. “Exhausting, frustrating, disappointing … this is how searching for a relationship felt for me,” said Maggie L. “After hours, days and months of filtering through contacts and “winks,” I end up going through many dates…only to be disappointed by people who are not as they represented themselves, physically and otherwise. UGH!”
And that’s where It Takes 2 stands out from the rest. It doesn’t use the typical online profiles and pictures where, as Carrie pointed out, “you don’t know who you’re meeting on the other end of the computer.”
Instead, Carrie relies on face-to-face conversations with each client, so she gets to know them on a more personal level. “We talk about their history, relationships and experiences. My ability…my sense of intuitiveness—developed through nearly 20 years of doing this… allows me to help identify a person’s long-term relationship goals and help them find a compatible match.”
And clients appreciate the personal, empathetic service.”I was a little nervous. I’d never done anything like this before,” admitted Jennifer M. “But Carrie is such a wonderful person, caring and sincere and wonderful to work with. I really trusted her.”
After our first interview, she said ‘I have a person in mind that I think you’ll really like.’ And she was right. George and I met last January and our first date was four hours long. We knew right then it was meant to be.
“Sometimes, though, the most compatible match is a bit unexpected, said Maggie L.
“Don and I met in October. I don’t know that he would have been my typical match. But he is perfect for me someone who is serious about a relationship…and someone that I would not have found or realized on my own was perfect for me.”
“It’s about emotions and a person’s heart,” Carrie said, “I help clients open their eyes to other possibilities – to think outside the box. Everyone has different relationship goals, and they might change.”Jim P. is a good example of that. He’s 83 years old and lost both his wife and daughter two years ago within the space of a few months. He was just looking for a friend. “I wanted someone to talk to, and travel with and not be lonely.”
But when Carrie matched him with 73-year-old Grace, “It was like a bolt of lightning struck. It’s more than companionship. I’m like a teenager in love.” Since they met in May, Jim and Grace have been to Graceland, Myrtle Beach, Atlantic City, the Greenbrier in West Virginia and Branson, Missouri. And they’re getting ready to head for Boston. And he says it’s all thanks to Carrie. “She really works with you so well. It’s done so professionally and privately.
“That’s the secret to It Takes 2’s success”, Carrie said.”A computer has a hard drive, not a heart. It can’t empathize with an individual. My service is very personalized. I work with living, breathing individuals and I really care about each of them.”
Her clients agree. Maggie L. said, “Carrie’s is a very personal service and there’s a high level of trust. I have a relationship first with Carrie, then she helps me find a relationship. And with Carrie, they’re all good possibilities.”
No wonder the buzz about Carrie and It Takes 2 is spreading throughout Richmond and environs. “I get a lot of clients through word-of-mouth. From men and women I’ve successfully worked with. From people with single friends and loved ones who want a relationship but aren’t finding it at online dating sites or the bar scene.
Carrie Daichman and It Takes 2.
It could be the start of something great in the new year.