The Beattitudes of Dating for Women in their 30’s
If you’re a woman in your 30’s, you might be dating again for a variety of reasons. Whether you have been through a recent divorce, a few break-ups or another scenario that has put you back in the dating scene, it’s an exciting time that can bring about strong feelings. As a woman in your 30’s, keep in mind the Beattitudes of Dating.
Beattitude #1: Be Friends First
You hear it all the time, but it’s really the number one rule when it comes to dating. Building a necessary foundation is key to relationships in your 30’s. You want relationships that will withstand the test of time, you want someone who will truly be there for you, and you want a friend for life. Building a relationship on friendship is truly important because you will get to know the other person and they will get to know you, on a much deeper level. Once you have established that strong friendship, you can decide if and when you want to pursue a romantic relationship with this person.
Beattitude #2: Be Observant
Relationship insight and advice is all around you, even if someone isn’t directly giving it to you. Pay attention to your friends and family or other close relationships to see how each person interacts with their significant other. Notice the differences between those couples who have been together a shorter time versus a longer time. Are there things about your sister’s relationship with her husband that you admire? Does your friend take his wife for granted? Do your friends have close bonds with their significant others that you admire or envy? What about each relationship do you draw from and want to bring into your next relationship? It’s interesting and helpful to see how spouses or couples interact with each other around other people and when they are alone.
Beattitude #3: Be Patient
It’s important to not rush your social life. Being in your 30’s gives you time to establish relationships; don’t rush in. This is the rest of your life we’re discussing, so take your time and know the right one will come along when the time is right. It is important that you do things to make yourself available though. Be active in your social life, meet a variety of people and engage in events at various settings to make sure you are opening yourself up to a diverse crowd. Doing so will increase the likelihood of meeting your Mr. Right.
Beattitude #4: Be Cool
Be cool and confident. Remember that you’re a catch. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or the other person too soon. What’s the rush after all? This is a time to explore and figure out exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. Go into the date without expectations or at least don’t set them too high. Your date will be nervous also, so it’s important to take things slow and get to know each other. Setting your expectations too high could lead to dismissing a potential partner because you misjudge them too early.
Beattitude #5: Be Convicted
Know what you want and don’t be willing to settle. There is a difference between having a list that you check traits off of for a potential mate and knowing what you want. No one should be a simple checklist on a date. However, there are important issues or dealbreakers that you need to stand firm to. Understand your needs, wants and desires and don’t compromise them or be wiling to settle. Never enter a relationship with the idea that this person is great, but if I change them they could be better. Know what you want from the beginning, so you’re honest with yourself and your potential partner. You both deserve someone who truly wants you for you.
As a woman in your 30’s, dating can be exciting and fun. You can get lost in the crowd, shuffling along and not sure what to do next. Stick with the Beattitudes when dating. Remember, friendship is the first step to a healthy and sound foundation. A great relationship can grow from there. Always be observant. Watch the relationships around you, noting what you like about them that you would like to bring into your next. Be patient with potential partners. They are nervous too! Be open and willing to listen to others, not dismissive and coming in with high expectations. You don’t want to miss out on something great. Remember, be cool. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on you or your date. Lastly, be convicted and never willing to settle. Know what you want and don’t pick someone you plan to change or someone who you have to change for. Relationships are about loving yourself and the other person, exactly as is.